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taste the venom between the smacking
of twin lips as they break their joint spine
and revel in the sound of death drilling
behind your eyelids until alone is a sound
you think you might want to rest in.

close your heart and button up the shutters
and board up the doors until the wind howls
and the chain is beating against the wood
with a hollow sound like a fist knocking,
but you know better, because no one has
knocked on this door since thirteen hundred
days ago when time was starting and you
had fresh pain[t] and a bright smile.

music hurts in the way of your skin peeling
and love is too bright to even look at and
the voice you want to wrap up to swallow
your breath is strangely missing and no
matter how hard you try, this absence
is just the lack of anything and you can't
drown in nothing no matter how
damn much you want to.

your back is in knots and your head is in
pretzels and you're screaming without making
a sound and crying without dropping a tear
and your flesh is melting all over your skeleton
and down your jeans and no matter how fast
you clean up the mess, you're just making
more of one until you're gone and you're
here and you're hollow and you're swollen
and you're dead, but not really, because
you're just alive enough
to wish
you
weren't.
{"the sun on the sand, on her knees and her hands
as she begs for her fish from the water
but turn them away, she's a whip and a slave
given time she may find something better
oh, how the rain sounds as loud as a lover's words
and now and again she's afraid when the sun returns"
--iron & wine

fair warning: i'm probably not going to reply to comments on this one.
i'm just too damn far behind. i will read them though.
tonight is, well, yeah. making me write scraps.
78% chance this will be deleted by morning.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconearlyinjune:
EarlyinJune Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2010  Student General Artist
It's amazing how you can put to words so well the feelings that so many of us have felt to some degree but have never found the right words to express them. Thank you for writing them so beautifully.
Reply
:iconjazzeigh:
jazzeigh Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2010  Hobbyist Photographer
the last verse had my mouth fall open
Reply
:iconrennskye:
rennskye Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2010
You know what I say about you scrapping thins and how you're not allowed to, right?

This... this hurt. This felt like falling apart in hours and days rather htan seconds and minutes.

"this absence
is just the lack of anything and you can't
drown in nothing no matter how
damn much you want to."

Or in years. In years, sitting and staring at yourself as you rot away into bones and no-skin, until everything you were turns into mulch on barren ground so it can't help anything grow. A numb feeling, cold but not as ice. Just cold. Ice would have too much emotion with it, too much to it in general as compared to the nothing here - maybe not cold, either, just not-warm. Yes. It's not cold, no, there is no cold, only the absence of heat.

("Now it's over I'm dead and I haven't done anything that I want, or I'm still alive and there's nothing I want to do" and you can't tell the difference)

"and you're dead, but not really, because
you're just alive enough
to wish
you
weren't."

And this. That chills me past the bone. Works it's way up in side of me and tears.

I'd clap, but suddenly my hands are too hard to life. Bravo.
Reply
:iconlivingdawn812:
livingdawn812 Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2010
*hand claps of the millions inside my mind whom are cheering for this epic piece*
Reply
:iconplatinummyr:
platinummyr Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
I love the ending. :giggle:
Reply
:iconperidot-magelette:
peridot-magelette Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2010
good lord.
Reply
:iconalicedanielle:
AliceDanielle Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2010  Student Writer
ohmygod. i haven't read anything by you in awhile, but this makes me want to again. you are amazing. reading it made me feel, and (to me) that's the best you can do when writing. (: and that last stanza was SO. AMAZING. i hope luck is on everyone's side and that 22% of you wins, because deleting this will do more harm than good.
This made me love you, and love you're writing. (: and to the person that said to delete it: they must have a learning disability and not be able to read because all of your fans (you can argue if they are misguided or not, who cares) do not lie. <3
Reply
:iconeyesfullofstardust:
eyesfullofstardust Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2010
this is my favorite of your poems because it's filled with pain and sometimes poems are the best place to put your pain, it's like a healing process.
Reply
:iconsolaces:
Solaces Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2010
THAT said, I do like many aspects of this poem. As usual, your imagery is fresh and rewarding, but something about the last stanza kind of bugs me. The imagery is, not bad per se, but not exactly you.
I don't want to say it's cliche either, but it's just not satisfying, especially for finishing up a poem.
Reply
:iconmeghamuffin22:
meghamuffin22 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2010
:love::love::love: this is gorgeous. lovely. amazing. astounding. b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l!
Reply
:iconravenwolfe0:
Ravenwolfe0 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2010
Yes. Dear. We know the pain of missing someone. Don't we?
Reply
:iconravenwolfe0:
Ravenwolfe0 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2010
Yes. Dear. We know the pain of missing someone. Don't we?
Reply
:iconxxshadowexx:
xxShadowexx Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2010
delete this, and i'll hunt you down and eat your face.
it's wonderful.
Reply
:iconchicara17:
chicara17 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2010
i've been noticing that you've become quite dark in your writting as of late and i must say it is a very refreshing change of pace from the mundane tendencies of most other writers. :]
Reply
:iconnezy93:
nezy93 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2010
Your imagery leaves me speechless and in this case, wincing at what I see. It's an excellent piece.
Reply
:iconcurious-gold-eyes:
Curious-Gold-Eyes Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
love, but its so painful.
Reply
:iconnightshade-valentine:
Nightshade-Valentine Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
plz plz PLZ don't delete this!It's such an amazing piece that I could only DREAM of writing as good as you do!And it really speaks to me.I don't know why,but the words flow into me.
Reply
:iconandrani:
Andrani Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010
You probably already have like...50 billion comments already, but I have read this so many times. It isn't a happy poem, but it is a piece of art!
Reply
:iconkyrie-marie-p:
Kyrie-Marie-P Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
this was very inspiring. i hope this is still up in the morning. It gives mea series of sketch images, totalling into one big image, inside my head.
Reply
:iconredvasa:
RedVasa Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010
Sounds a little gory, nice imagery! :D Deleting is not an option.
Reply
:iconbroadwaygirl143:
BroadwayGirl143 Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010
My one teacher once said that there are 3 types of writers in the world:

1. The ones who don't know how to follow the rules
2. The ones who do know how to follow the rules
and 3. The ones who can break the rules and still be brilliant.

The run-ons in this are spectacular, like stream-of-consciousness. Well done. :]
Reply
:iconcute-book-worm:
Cute-Book-Worm Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
ps. PLZ DON'T DELLETE ITT!!!
Reply
:iconcute-book-worm:
Cute-Book-Worm Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
Holy crap this awsome......I don't know what to say or how to describe it but it's...awsomeness
Reply
:iconbrittabarricade:
BrittaBarricade Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010  Student General Artist
wow. This...is. I...i feel it. I feel what you described. This is real.
Reply
:iconsleepxxwalker:
sleepxxwalker Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010
Is your work always this good? Cause... I mean... this... this is amazing. This is verging on the best poem/song/piece of written work EVER I have EVER read.

I'll be in your gallery!
Reply
:icondaikras:
daikras Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010   Writer
That is incredible! I think it's very similar a writing style to my own.
Reply
:iconandiwashere:
AndiWasHere Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
I almost started crying. It's like you're speaking to me, through the screens and across the wires. I know you aren't, and that it's stupid and cliche and whatever to even suggest it, but... Well, I said it anyway.

Kindly don't delete it. =/
Reply
:iconrangerlenara:
RangerLenara Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010
I don't know what to say. The mood it creates can not be described.
Reply
:iconazbilcreak:
azbilcreak Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010  Student General Artist
This is really good. :) Please don't delete it.
Reply
:iconfenrirofparadise:
fenrirofparadise Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Please please please don't delete it!
It's absolutely magnificent!!!!
Reply
:iconbellapotter:
BellaPotter Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
this is lovely lovely lovely. i miss writing anything with emotion in it. all i can manage right now is 'suicide notes', my 'book'.
Reply
:iconxabysmalxmindx:
XabysmalxmindX Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010
don't delete it, it really speaks to people, you know... you've got a gift, be proud.
Reply
:iconsaphirasmagic:
SaphirasMagic Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010
this is really good. i like it a lot. it has a really deep feeling to it, like you an almost imagine being there yourself, you know? lovley :)
Reply
:icontherealjayremy:
TheRealJayRemy Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010
I'm not really one for depressing poetry, but this is so good it almost makes me happy.
Reply
:iconbrokenhearted299:
BrokenHearted299 Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010  Student Writer
Don't delete it, it's wonderful ^_^ scary, violent, and wonderful.
Reply
:iconvampirefreak14:
VampireFreak14 Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010
oh wow.. this was amazing. you have a great way of writing, m'dear. i suggest you don't delete it.
Reply
:iconalterego1629:
AlterEgo1629 Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
If you delete this, I will hunt you down wherever you live and SMACK THE SENSE BACK INTO YOU.
That said, I love this piece.
Reply
:iconlosingmyfaith:
losingmyfaith Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010  Student Writer
Wow. I love the ending. Powerful. Don't delete <3 It's good. In a sad way. I can relate.

:huggle:
Reply
:iconappeltjesgroen:
Appeltjesgroen Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010
This is something that looks a lot more like your old writing. I am happy you have a lovely boyfriend, but I notice I can't place myself any more in your writings. [I think it's the factor of lacking a boyfriend, or never that I never had a boyfriend] Somehow this worked.. :heart: Just don't delete it!
Reply
:iconzewhomustnotbenamed:
zewhomustnotbenamed Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Before you delete it, I really like this. :heart:
Reply
:iconsailorichigo:
SailorIchigo Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010
"music hurts in the way of your skin peeling
and love is too bright to even look at and
the voice you want to wrap up to swallow
your breath is strangely missing and no
matter how hard you try, this absence
is just the lack of anything and you can't
drown in nothing no matter how
damn much you want to."
Love this! Please don't delete it!
Reply
:iconabjectobject:
AbjectObject Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010
Delete it. These idiots are going to praise any little stupid thing you upload, don't let them lower your standards.
Reply
:iconsolaces:
Solaces Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2010
I do agree with you to some degree, but nothing against this artist at all, or any other artist for that matter.
It just seems that whenever someone doesn't have something positive to say about a work, all the fans have to come in flocks. Again, this is nothing against artist in any way. I know she can handle the good and the bad very well and I've seen her do it and I've really admired for it each time.
While maybe you were a little blunt, I just don't understand the whole white knighting. *awaits the bricks*

Sorry to sound like a bitch. It's more of an observation of a slight annoyance than anything else...
Reply
:iconabjectobject:
AbjectObject Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2010
i dont' see why people care so much. She said she might take it down, and i said that she should. You people should piss off.
Reply
:iconfonsheca:
fonsheca Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Well aren't we a debbie downer.
Reply
:iconabjectobject:
AbjectObject Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010
As I said to the other halfwit, I speak the truth, don't be a bitch.
Reply
:iconxmyheart32:
xmyheart32 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2010
I don't think it would be lowering her standards.
Just because she doesn't like it, doesn't mean it isn't good. Like someone else said, it's raw. It's really good and shouldn't be deleted.
Reply
:iconabjectobject:
AbjectObject Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2010
I was talking to her, not to her legion of blind, misguided fans.
Reply
:iconxmyheart32:
xmyheart32 Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2010
But what she wrote was beautiful.
Reply
:icon50calwolf:
50calWolf Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010
someone's got sand in their vag this afternoon
Reply
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