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stop.

i need you to put down the pencil and listen to me for a second. i need you to pause your breath and tune to my frequency. because i’m throwing my heart on the airwaves and i need you to be alive to hear it. i need you to follow my words even when they’re stumbling, tripping, falling on their face.

this is just going to take a second. i promise.

i think you should know that when i woke up today i was tangled in morning breath and your whispers. i think you should know that i’m dreaming with swollen lips and bleeding cheeks because i keep biting down to stop myself from saying what’s on my mind. i think you should know my mouth is betraying me and when i brush it off, what i mean is, please, for the love of everything, know that i am terrified.

and, i think you should know, despite the fact that i am trembling with needs, i don’t want it. i don’t want to count down the seconds and drag out my day. i don’t want to have to constantly dislodge my heart from the back of my throat when you don’t even know that you jammed it there. i don’t want to write instructions on how to breathe on my walls because suddenly i’m constantly needing a reminder.

i don’t want this.

because it blindsided me, it plucked me off my track and threw me into another orbit. i was happy with where i was going and suddenly i’m holding my head between my hands with my tongue getting stuck in the why’s. i’m beating my dashboard because i didn’t ask for this. i’m incoherent and confused and blindfolded and lost in the middle of the city.

you should know i could pick better. if i wanted to trip like this, i’d find someone safe. i’d find someone with arms around my waist who would make sure i didn’t slam my jaw on the concrete. not this. i wouldn’t choose to fall without a net. i wouldn’t choose to choke up my heart and spit it out at your feet. but i didn’t choose, my tires slipped on the black ice and i’m careening out of control. i don’t have a choice, i’m  pretending to clutch the wheel but no one knows better than me that i’m going to crash into the center divider.

i guess what i’m saying is: i need you.
i guess what you need to know is: it makes me mad as hell.
{"even the best fall down sometimes
even the wrong words seem to rhyme
out of the doubt that fills my mind
i somehow find, you and i collide"
--howie day

full title: i think i might need you, but i sure as hell don't want you.

my name is megan and i have a submission problem.
:heart:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconnoxregula:
NoxRegula Featured By Owner 5 days ago  New Deviant
If only you were mine...
Reply
:iconalemangaanimelover:
alemangaanimelover Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Student Filmographer
aw....
it is awesomee....
exactly i need him but dont want him..
so cool
GREAT JOB!
Reply
:iconfragile-capricorn:
Fragile-Capricorn Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
wow i love this peice, its kind of what i wanted to say to someone but didnt know how
Reply
:iconhadilakk:
Hadilakk Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
wow....its complex but beautiful....
Reply
:iconemeraldice:
EmeraldIce Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:wave:

Hi :aww: Your wonderful work has been featured in my new journal - ..:: !dAs' 12th Birthday Art Featurama! ::..:party:

:iconsmallheartplz: :penguin: :bye:
Reply
:iconawesomemyself:
Awesomemyself Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
That is soooo sweet!
I love It!
Reply
:iconroyishot:
royishot Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
.... this is so sweet...........
Reply
:iconcheynaynaybuttercup:
Cheynaynaybuttercup Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2012
this is so amazingly perfect!!!! >//<
Reply
:iconthefireflyliberation:
i don't know about perfect...but thank you!
Reply
:iconvivienmelsdans:
VivienMelsDans Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2011
this is so perfect.
Reply
:iconcommunist-love-song:
Communist-Love-Song Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2011  Student Filmographer
My name is Kappa and this is amazing. Brilliantly composed, beautifully original, and completely deserving of a :+fav:
Reply
:iconsarah-93-yin-yang:
sarah-93-yin-yang Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2011  Student General Artist
This has got to be one of the best proses I've ever read.And if any of mine happen to even a tenth as good as this.I'd consider my self blessed
Reply
:icongruaige-doiteain:
gruaige-doiteain Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
my name is megan, and i know what you mean :) in terms of this piece lol :P
Reply
:iconwherethesunsets:
WhereTheSunSets Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2011
This is stunning. It is insightful, direct, beautifully phrased, and I feel like it reaches out to my heart.
This is what I call art.
Reply
:iconmissleirabranch:
MissLeiraBranch Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Stunning. Grabbed my attention from the first lines to the very last. :heart:
Reply
:iconhassanka:
hassanka Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
woow it's very nice i liked it very much
Reply
:iconsilencershep727:
Silencershep727 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2011
i like it, Megan with a submission problem ;P
Reply
:icongulafa:
gulafa Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
nice.[link]
Reply
:iconmorningparties:
MorningParties Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2011   Writer
Coherent emotion...you're a true writer. :)
Reply
:iconhumanhunter:
HumanHunter Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
oh my god.you just said everything i always feel.i love you.it's brilliant.
Reply
:iconboi-blue:
BOI-BLUE Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2010  Student General Artist
You preached to the choir.... Have agood one hun' and good job...
Reply
:iconlostsoul747:
lostsoul747 Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
I feel like this every single day.
Reply
:iconirishangel:
IrishAngel Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2010
:breathless: This piece is amazing and definitely expresses where I am sure more than a few of us have been before perfectly.
Reply
:iconbeliciayqb:
beliciayqb Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2010
I have nothing to say.
Except for WOW.
Reply
:iconanna-denka:
Anna-Denka Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2010   Photographer
This is the 5th or 6th thing I've read by you. I keep waiting to find one to not "favorite." You keep delivering amazing pieces that I can't not "favorite." So thank you.
Reply
:icondont-ask-n-dont-tell:
Dont-Ask-N-Dont-Tell Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2010  Student General Artist
Beyond amazing
Reply
:iconthe-placebo-effect:
the-placebo-effect Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2010
i cried when i read this. not only does it describe exactly how i feel but also, it does so in a straightforward way.

just wow. i love this so much.
Reply
:iconsaphire456213:
saphire456213 Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
i don’t want to write instructions on how to breathe on my walls because suddenly i’m constantly needing a reminder.
Pure gold, darling, absolutely pure gold.
Reply
:icon8shinotenshi8:
8ShiNoTenshi8 Featured By Owner May 28, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
This is amazing! :D
Reply
:iconthefireflyliberation:
thank you soso much :heart:
Reply
:icon8shinotenshi8:
8ShiNoTenshi8 Featured By Owner May 30, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
you're welcome! :D :heart:
Reply
:iconchettheteapot:
ChetTheTeapot Featured By Owner May 23, 2010
awesome song, awesome writing (:
Reply
:iconthefireflyliberation:
thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:iconfrozery:
Frozery Featured By Owner May 14, 2010
I am in love with this. Thanks, girl : )
Reply
:iconthefireflyliberation:
thank you so much!
Reply
:iconaaandreeac:
aaandreeac Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2010
Featured here :heart: :heart::heart: [link]
Reply
:iconwynt-rs:
Wynt-rs Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2010
I fully, completely, and absolutely adore this piece of art. Maybe because this is exactly how I feel, and maybe because you simply write with beauty.
All the same, I'm amazed.
=)
Reply
:iconthefireflyliberation:
thefireflyliberation Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2010
thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconwynt-rs:
Wynt-rs Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2010
You're very welcome! I love to read your writing, so its always my pleasure! =)
Reply
:iconiluvocnj2006:
Iluvocnj2006 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2010
Gorgeous :heart:

You've been linked...

[link]
Reply
:iconthefireflyliberation:
thefireflyliberation Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2010
thank you :heart:!!
Reply
:iconiluvocnj2006:
Iluvocnj2006 Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2010
You're welcome!
Reply
:iconpolandwire:
PolandWire Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010  Student General Artist
Wow that is really beautiful <3
Reply
:iconthefireflyliberation:
thank you :]
Reply
:iconspartan17359:
spartan17359 Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2010
Love your work , really moves me :)
Reply
:iconthefireflyliberation:
oh, thank you so much :heart:!
Reply
:icondarkcandyxoxo:
DarkCandyxoxo Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2010
Hmph. :( I love this. and I love you.
Reply
:iconthefireflyliberation:
thefireflyliberation Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2010
aw, you're too nice. :hug:
Reply
:icondarkcandyxoxo:
DarkCandyxoxo Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2010
Oh, it's nothing. <3
Reply
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October 8, 2009
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