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i need you to put down the pencil and listen to me for a second. i need you to pause your breath and tune to my frequency. because i’m throwing my heart on the airwaves and i need you to be alive to hear it. i need you to follow my words even when they’re stumbling, tripping, falling on their face.

this is just going to take a second. i promise.

i think you should know that when i woke up today i was tangled in morning breath and your whispers. i think you should know that i’m dreaming with swollen lips and bleeding cheeks because i keep biting down to stop myself from saying what’s on my mind. i think you should know my mouth is betraying me and when i brush it off, what i mean is, please, for the love of everything, know that i am terrified.

and, i think you should know, despite the fact that i am trembling with needs, i don’t want it. i don’t want to count down the seconds and drag out my day. i don’t want to have to constantly dislodge my heart from the back of my throat when you don’t even know that you jammed it there. i don’t want to write instructions on how to breathe on my walls because suddenly i’m constantly needing a reminder.

i don’t want this.

because it blindsided me, it plucked me off my track and threw me into another orbit. i was happy with where i was going and suddenly i’m holding my head between my hands with my tongue getting stuck in the why’s. i’m beating my dashboard because i didn’t ask for this. i’m incoherent and confused and blindfolded and lost in the middle of the city.

you should know i could pick better. if i wanted to trip like this, i’d find someone safe. i’d find someone with arms around my waist who would make sure i didn’t slam my jaw on the concrete. not this. i wouldn’t choose to fall without a net. i wouldn’t choose to choke up my heart and spit it out at your feet. but i didn’t choose, my tires slipped on the black ice and i’m careening out of control. i don’t have a choice, i’m  pretending to clutch the wheel but no one knows better than me that i’m going to crash into the center divider.

i guess what i’m saying is: i need you.
i guess what you need to know is: it makes me mad as hell.
{"even the best fall down sometimes
even the wrong words seem to rhyme
out of the doubt that fills my mind
i somehow find, you and i collide"
--howie day

full title: i think i might need you, but i sure as hell don't want you.

my name is megan and i have a submission problem.
Add a Comment:
NoxRegula Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2015
If only you were mine...
alemangaanimelover Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Student Filmographer
it is awesomee....
exactly i need him but dont want him..
so cool
Fragile-Capricorn Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
wow i love this peice, its kind of what i wanted to say to someone but didnt know how
Hadilakk Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
wow....its complex but beautiful....
EmeraldIce Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist

Hi :aww: Your wonderful work has been featured in my new journal - ..:: !dAs' 12th Birthday Art Featurama! ::..:party:

:iconsmallheartplz: :penguin: :bye:
Awesomemyself Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
That is soooo sweet!
I love It!
royishot Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
.... this is so sweet...........
Cheynaynaybuttercup Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2012
this is so amazingly perfect!!!! >//<
i don't know about perfect...but thank you!
VivienMelsDans Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2011
this is so perfect.
Communist-Love-Song Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2011  Student Filmographer
My name is Kappa and this is amazing. Brilliantly composed, beautifully original, and completely deserving of a :+fav:
sarah-93-yin-yang Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2011  Student General Artist
This has got to be one of the best proses I've ever read.And if any of mine happen to even a tenth as good as this.I'd consider my self blessed
gruaige-doiteain Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
my name is megan, and i know what you mean :) in terms of this piece lol :P
WhereTheSunSets Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2011
This is stunning. It is insightful, direct, beautifully phrased, and I feel like it reaches out to my heart.
This is what I call art.
MissLeiraBranch Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Stunning. Grabbed my attention from the first lines to the very last. :heart:
hassanka Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
woow it's very nice i liked it very much
Silencershep727 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2011
i like it, Megan with a submission problem ;P
gulafa Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
MorningParties Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2011   Writer
Coherent're a true writer. :)
HumanHunter Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
oh my just said everything i always feel.i love's brilliant.
BOI-BLUE Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2010  Student General Artist
You preached to the choir.... Have agood one hun' and good job...
lostsoul747 Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
I feel like this every single day.
IrishAngel Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2010
:breathless: This piece is amazing and definitely expresses where I am sure more than a few of us have been before perfectly.
beliciayqb Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2010
I have nothing to say.
Except for WOW.
Anna-Denka Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2010   Photographer
This is the 5th or 6th thing I've read by you. I keep waiting to find one to not "favorite." You keep delivering amazing pieces that I can't not "favorite." So thank you.
Dont-Ask-N-Dont-Tell Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2010  Student General Artist
Beyond amazing
the-placebo-effect Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2010
i cried when i read this. not only does it describe exactly how i feel but also, it does so in a straightforward way.

just wow. i love this so much.
saphire456213 Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
i don’t want to write instructions on how to breathe on my walls because suddenly i’m constantly needing a reminder.
Pure gold, darling, absolutely pure gold.
8ShiNoTenshi8 Featured By Owner May 28, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
This is amazing! :D
thank you soso much :heart:
8ShiNoTenshi8 Featured By Owner May 30, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
you're welcome! :D :heart:
ChetTheTeapot Featured By Owner May 23, 2010
awesome song, awesome writing (:
thank you so much! :heart:
Frozery Featured By Owner May 14, 2010
I am in love with this. Thanks, girl : )
thank you so much!
aaandreeac Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2010
Featured here :heart: :heart::heart: [link]
Wynt-rs Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2010
I fully, completely, and absolutely adore this piece of art. Maybe because this is exactly how I feel, and maybe because you simply write with beauty.
All the same, I'm amazed.
thefireflyliberation Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2010
thank you :heart:
Wynt-rs Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2010
You're very welcome! I love to read your writing, so its always my pleasure! =)
Iluvocnj2006 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2010
Gorgeous :heart:

You've been linked...

thefireflyliberation Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2010
thank you :heart:!!
Iluvocnj2006 Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2010
You're welcome!
PolandWire Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010  Student General Artist
Wow that is really beautiful <3
thank you :]
spartan17359 Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2010
Love your work , really moves me :)
oh, thank you so much :heart:!
DarkCandyxoxo Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2010
Hmph. :( I love this. and I love you.
thefireflyliberation Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2010
aw, you're too nice. :hug:
DarkCandyxoxo Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2010
Oh, it's nothing. <3
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Submitted on
October 8, 2009
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