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Submitted on
October 8, 2009
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stop.

i need you to put down the pencil and listen to me for a second. i need you to pause your breath and tune to my frequency. because i’m throwing my heart on the airwaves and i need you to be alive to hear it. i need you to follow my words even when they’re stumbling, tripping, falling on their face.

this is just going to take a second. i promise.

i think you should know that when i woke up today i was tangled in morning breath and your whispers. i think you should know that i’m dreaming with swollen lips and bleeding cheeks because i keep biting down to stop myself from saying what’s on my mind. i think you should know my mouth is betraying me and when i brush it off, what i mean is, please, for the love of everything, know that i am terrified.

and, i think you should know, despite the fact that i am trembling with needs, i don’t want it. i don’t want to count down the seconds and drag out my day. i don’t want to have to constantly dislodge my heart from the back of my throat when you don’t even know that you jammed it there. i don’t want to write instructions on how to breathe on my walls because suddenly i’m constantly needing a reminder.

i don’t want this.

because it blindsided me, it plucked me off my track and threw me into another orbit. i was happy with where i was going and suddenly i’m holding my head between my hands with my tongue getting stuck in the why’s. i’m beating my dashboard because i didn’t ask for this. i’m incoherent and confused and blindfolded and lost in the middle of the city.

you should know i could pick better. if i wanted to trip like this, i’d find someone safe. i’d find someone with arms around my waist who would make sure i didn’t slam my jaw on the concrete. not this. i wouldn’t choose to fall without a net. i wouldn’t choose to choke up my heart and spit it out at your feet. but i didn’t choose, my tires slipped on the black ice and i’m careening out of control. i don’t have a choice, i’m  pretending to clutch the wheel but no one knows better than me that i’m going to crash into the center divider.

i guess what i’m saying is: i need you.
i guess what you need to know is: it makes me mad as hell.
{"even the best fall down sometimes
even the wrong words seem to rhyme
out of the doubt that fills my mind
i somehow find, you and i collide"
--howie day

full title: i think i might need you, but i sure as hell don't want you.

my name is megan and i have a submission problem.
:heart:
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:iconalemangaanimelover:
alemangaanimelover Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Student Filmographer
aw....
it is awesomee....
exactly i need him but dont want him..
so cool
GREAT JOB!
Reply
:iconfragile-capricorn:
Fragile-Capricorn Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
wow i love this peice, its kind of what i wanted to say to someone but didnt know how
Reply
:iconhadilakk:
Hadilakk Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
wow....its complex but beautiful....
Reply
:iconemeraldice:
EmeraldIce Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:wave:

Hi :aww: Your wonderful work has been featured in my new journal - ..:: !dAs' 12th Birthday Art Featurama! ::..:party:

:iconsmallheartplz: :penguin: :bye:
Reply
:iconawesomemyself:
Awesomemyself Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
That is soooo sweet!
I love It!
Reply
:iconroyishot:
royishot Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
.... this is so sweet...........
Reply
:iconcheynaynaybuttercup:
Cheynaynaybuttercup Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2012
this is so amazingly perfect!!!! >//<
Reply
:iconthefireflyliberation:
i don't know about perfect...but thank you!
Reply
:iconvivienmelsdans:
VivienMelsDans Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2011
this is so perfect.
Reply
:iconcommunist-love-song:
Communist-Love-Song Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2011  Student Filmographer
My name is Kappa and this is amazing. Brilliantly composed, beautifully original, and completely deserving of a :+fav:
Reply
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