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:iconthefireflyliberation: More from thefireflyliberation


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Literature by InspiredByThought

beautiful words. by birdluvr109

Poetry and Prose by ElectriCrayonboxxx


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Submitted on
October 18, 2009
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don't apologize. i can't breathe. i collapsed on the stairs at a quarter to two and i haven't found my feet yet. please help me up. please push me down. i think i'm letting my lungs collapse. i think i just spit up saltwater. is the carpet staining? i need you to grab my hand. i need you to hold my lungs together. i need you. i need you.

is it night yet? i can't see the stars. i can't feel the wind. my skin is numb and my eyes are on fire and i'm sitting in the middle of a room without windows and i can't breathe. why aren't you listening? can't you hear me? i'm choking on regrets. i'm choking on my spine. i'm coughing up alcohol from last night and i'm spitting out my teeth but i still can't breathe.

i need a prayer. i need a song. i need you to write a poem for me and read it out loud until i can't hear anything but your voice. i need to stop driving with my eyes closed. i need to stop pretending i have wings. i need you to close your eyes and pretend i know. pretend i don't need you. pretend i know what this is. pretend i know who i am. anything. everything. pretend i know.

where is my pulse?

help me find my clothes. help me find an answer. i'm fumbling in the dark and i'm turning upside down without a way to find my balance. i'm tumbling. i'm falling. i'm scraping my knee and bleeding all over the floor. i'm coughing up words we've never heard before and pretending they're beautiful. i'm rearranging the stains on my jeans and saying they're profound. you're helping me up but i can't see your hand.

stop saying sorry. stop telling me you can't give me what i want. i don't know what i want. i don't know what i am. how can i ask for something when i'm not breathing? i walked on my hands and knees for five minutes today before i realized the world looked the same from down here. my throat got ripped to shreds trying to swallow the world. my hands are shaking and hitting all the wrong keys.

we're not making music, we're making chaos. we're swirling every color together because we thought it'd be a rainbow. but it's just black. it's just brown. it's a mess and we created it. it's hideous and it's our love child. are you proud of what we've created? are you touching the fucking awful masterpiece and saying that we're a genius and somehow in this word vomit we created something worth reading? because we didn't. we just fucked it all up. we just took the sun and bagged it and claimed the sky looked brighter when it was gone.

we weren't wrong. we were just anything but right.
we're not alive. we're just too stubborn to die.
i'm not breathing. why am i not breathing?
{"deep beneath the black dawn, leagues from lightning's flash
ribs will raise cathedrals for the morning mass
steel yourself in sackcloth, roll your heart in ash
scrape your skin with steel wool and hold fast hope
cross your heart and hold fast hope "
--thrice

yes, this is fiction. it was just a writing exercise for me.
i wanted to just write without thinking non-stop.
which explains the rambling nature of this.
it was strongly influenced by the music i was listening to.
but i figured i'd at least share it with you all.
:heart:
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:iconsuperalphawolf:
SuperAlphaWolf Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2013  Student General Artist
incredible, touching, AMAZING.
Reply
:iconalmost-invisible:
almost-invisible Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2011
I'm crying on my keyboard because I just left my boyfriend who is scared to death of dying when he has surgery soon. And I realised that all that while, when I said 'it'll be ok' in the back of my mind, I was scared too, and this is how I would feel if he did die. And it makes me want to stop breathing and throw up. It's terribly beautiful writing though, really.
Reply
:iconkiyoshi45:
Kiyoshi45 Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2010
so... i commented on this when you first posted it, but i read it again. and it still took my breath away.

i love this line, so much
"i need a prayer. i need a song. i need you to write a poem for me and read it out loud until i can't hear anything but your voice."

Can i have some of your writing talent please? <3
Reply
:iconthefireflyliberation:
thefireflyliberation Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2010
aw, you're soso sweet :heart::heart:
Reply
:iconzewhomustnotbenamed:
zewhomustnotbenamed Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow...just wow.

Unlike you, I'm not good with words, so that'll do as a comment.

"we weren't wrong. we were just anything but right.
we're not alive. we're just too stubborn to die."

That more or less just summed up my feelings right now, but in a much prettier way.

Thank you for writing this.
Reply
:iconthefireflyliberation:
thank you, i am so glad you enjoyed it.
Reply
:iconperidot-magelette:
peridot-magelette Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2009
so... beautifully desperate.
Reply
:iconperidot-magelette:
peridot-magelette Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2009
oh wow... i'm not sure what to feel about this... but i know i like it
Reply
:iconthefireflyliberation:
thefireflyliberation Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2009
thank you soso much.
Reply
:iconkatana-victoria:
Katana-Victoria Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2009
You're sooo amazingg. You've taken my breath away, time and time again. <3
Reply
:iconthefireflyliberation:
thefireflyliberation Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2009
aw, thank youu :blush:
Reply
:iconbird-bug:
Bird-Bug Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
:D i cant even develop words to express how much i love this deviation of yours!
i attempt to write poetry, but i think you wrote the book on it. :D
:icondweebdanceplz: this made my sunday!
Reply
:iconthefireflyliberation:
that means so much to me, thank you!
Reply
:iconbird-bug:
Bird-Bug Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
no problem :D i loved it!
Reply
:iconblueeyedladybug:
blueeyedladybug Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2009
this is completely beautiful and amazing. it totally touches me. i can kind of relate to it, and I love it. keep writing!! you are such a great writer. Thank you.
Reply
:iconthefireflyliberation:
thank you soso much! :]
Reply
:iconblueeyedladybug:
blueeyedladybug Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2009
you are quite welcome :)
Reply
:iconeternalfreedom:
EternalFreedom Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2009
you + words = :icondweebdanceplz: (my happy dance)
Reply
:iconthefireflyliberation:
haha that is so adorable.
Reply
:iconeternalfreedom:
EternalFreedom Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2009
:love:
Reply
:iconhorsewild111:
Horsewild111 Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2009
Your mind is a lovely, beautiful place. Did you know that?
Reply
:iconstrawberrykittycake:
strawberrykittycake Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
i luuuvvv it jus luuuvvv it
:]
Reply
:iconthefireflyliberation:
thank you!
:heart:
Reply
:iconstrawberrykittycake:
strawberrykittycake Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
ur so very welcome^^
Reply
:iconxxgedweyignasia501xx:
we're not making music, we're making chaos. we're swirling every color together because we thought it'd be a rainbow.
...
we just took the sun and bagged it and claimed the sky looked brighter when it was gone.

Love these lines. Maybe I should try writing a piece where I write unthinkingly, non-stop. My thoughts are crazy/fast enough. ^^
And even as ramblings, as you said, this piece is still great to read.
Reply
:iconthefireflyliberation:
thank you so much
:heart:
Reply
:icon15chopsticks:
15chopsticks Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2009  Student Photographer
It was dark and sad yet beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes.
Reply
:iconthefireflyliberation:
thank you so much
:heart:
Reply
:iconindigoskyes:
IndigoSkyes Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
What song is it?
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:iconthefireflyliberation:
hold fast hope by thrice.
Reply
:iconindigoskyes:
IndigoSkyes Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Ah, thank you.
Reply
:iconiheldyoucloser:
iheldyoucloser Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2009
i love the rambling.
:heart:
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:iconthefireflyliberation:
thank youu
Reply
:iconwoman-7:
Woman-7 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
i really really love it. Even for a different style its very profound
Reply
:iconthefireflyliberation:
thank you, love
Reply
:iconwoman-7:
Woman-7 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
you are most welcome :)
Reply
:iconburning-waters:
burning-waters Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2009
the fact that it was rambling made it so good. before i knew it was rambling, i thoutght: man, this is good. its random, and jumps from one thought to the other. it makes so much sense tho.
if my nonpaused rambles were anything like yours, id write them down all the time.
Reply
:iconthefireflyliberation:
:heart::heart: thank you so much
Reply
:icondancingintherain16:
dancingintherain16 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2009
oh my god.
Reply
:iconnocturnalschizo:
nocturnalschizo Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2009
"stop telling me you can't give me what i want. i don't know what i want."

i love this one!
Reply
:iconthefireflyliberation:
:heart::heart: thank you!
Reply
:iconalexisasylumxm:
alexisasylumxm Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2009  Student Writer
i cried when i read this.
:heart
Reply
:iconthefireflyliberation:
love, don't cry! D:
Reply
:iconalexisasylumxm:
alexisasylumxm Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2009  Student Writer
oh its alright <3
Reply
:iconawesomeisma:
AwesomeIsma Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2009
i love it
Reply
:iconthefireflyliberation:
thank you :]
Reply
:icondustdelight:
DustDelight Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2009
hey, i have a question. it's like a biiig wish.
i have a band, a metalcore band and i love the name adn some ideeas from this.
can i use it? the title. and a few ideas. i-ll make it song, but just if you let me to do this.

thank you. and sorry for disturbing.:)
Reply
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