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Poems and Such by DAL22-Creations

Literature by TheMateriaMaster

tickle-my-ear words by sioraine


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Submitted on
September 16, 2009
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“i think we can make this work.”

“i think we can too.”

“but you have to promise me something.”

“within limits.”

“promise me you’ll never leave the hand soap empty. promise me that when you see the faucet accidently leaking on the counter, you’ll take a towel and mop it up instead of just shrugging and walking away. promise me you won’t leave your jeans rumpled in the hall because they ‘didn’t make it’ all the way into the room.”

“i can’t lie, i can’t promise that. but i will promise to never leave your hands empty. i will promise that when your bad day has leaked all over your cheeks, i’ll take my lips and wipe it away. and i promise that i’ll never leave your feelings rumpled outside a locked bedroom door.”

“i can compromise with that.”

“and can you promise me something?”

“i’ll certainly try.”

“promise me you won’t drag me into some chick flick where the guy cries more than the girl. promise me you won’t spend half of my paycheck on a pair of shoes you already have in a different color. and promise you won’t delete my recording of ‘dirty harry’ so you can record ‘america’s next top gossip designer’ or whatever it is you’re watching this week.”

“no deal. but i will promise i will drag you laughing into bed when we’re soaked to the bone with rain and our teeth are clicking and our hands are the only things warm on our bodies. i will promise that i’ll spend half my thoughts on ‘you’ and the other half on ‘us.’ and i will promise that i’ll delete my petty emotional baggage instead of shoving it in your arms and expecting you to haul it through my stress.”

“one more thing.”

“sure.”

“promise to love me in the morning when my breath smells like last night and bad decisions. promise to love me in the afternoon when my energy flatlined and i’m snapping at you because it keeps me from falling into a coma. promise to love me at night when i’m impatient and shaking through dinner with our friends because i can’t taste the tuna when i’m thinking about tasting your collarbone.”

“that’s easy. i promise to love you when you’re gross, irritating and embarrassing.”

“and i promise i won’t be like that often.”

“liar.”
{"we could run all night
and dance upon the architecture
come and take my hand
i'll do the very best i can
boy, i still wanna be your man
i’m still these nervous feet and heart of stone
forget this dead mans town, i’ll take you home"
--the gaslight anthem

full title: i can't promise what you want, but i will promise what you need.
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:iconehb:
Corina, this all dialogue story/poem is captivating, keeping me guessing which promise will come next, which will be rejected and which will be offered. The metaphorical aspect is not lost, I can totally see this as an internal dialogue passing silently between a couple's eyes as they exchange rings, vows, what have you. The frank way one asks the other not to leve the soap empty contrasts so beautifully with the metaphorical responses. I'm reminded of Disney movies where something said is responded to in song, and although your voice is not particularly lyrical, it is extremely flexible and adaptable, able to change faces and create lovely contrasts at every turn in your writing. Another great example of this is the way you provoke serious and emotional thoughts in the reader, making her think of her own experiences and possibly bringing her to tears. Next sentence she is laughing out loud. The comedic tone is the silver lining of this piece. Thanks a bunch and keep on writing.
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:iconlildevilchild:
LilDevilChild Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Student General Artist
I just love this! It's sweet and very touching, yet at the same time funny because it's exactly what life is like when it comes to promises
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:iconhonestyrox:
HonestyRox Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Student Writer
this is so freaking perfect.
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:iconthefireflyliberation:
i don't know about perfect, but thank you. from the bottom of my heart.
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:iconhonestyrox:
HonestyRox Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012  Student Writer
keep being amazing.
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:iconhi123321:
Hi123321 Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Oh my goodness. I am utterly in love with this piece.

The thought of promises is so cliched that I'm blown away by how original and still sweet this is. I'm three years late, but I am definitely going to read more of your works. This is an easy favorite. (:
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:iconrasenryu:
Rasenryu Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i got all misty-eyed reading this. . .
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:iconrasenryu:
Rasenryu Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Whoops, this is in the wrong place. . .
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:iconfangs2go:
Fangs2Go Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2012
I can't tell you how many times I go back to read this... I don't even know if I had commented on this yet, but I just love it; it reminds me of a conversation I had with someone :)
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:iconthefireflyliberation:
thefireflyliberation Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2012
thank you so, so much. i am so glad it resonated with you.
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:iconfangs2go:
Fangs2Go Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2012
:)
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